Unimportant.
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  • me: better check my phone for texts from friends
  • me: *checks phone*
  • me: better get some friends

sassyabrahamlincoln:

sassyabrahamlincoln:

4 score and 20 years ago i blazed it

now im stoned
image

ebeanezerscrooge:

the professor asked me what benjamin franklins brothers name was and i panicked and said frank benjalin. i have never fucked up that hard in my entire life

bombing:

just saw a post accusing Obama of working for the government

dialga:

"i have to check and make sure" I had one of those moments at work today and i just stared at him like "I dont understand your question."

tatianaception:

the idea of being right-handed or left-handed is so fucked up. like how in the hell is it evolutionarily advantageous to have one hand that’s good at everything and one that’s fucking useless. why aren’t we all dead.

nigiris:

i was playing animal crossing while laying next to my grandma and i usually complain a lot out loud and i go “gosh i need to donate more fishes to my museum” and she just turns to me and says “what you need is a boyfriend and maybe a couple friends”

image

 thank

sidnugget:

I heard a kid say “I was born in 2003” the other day and he was like “I’m 11” it fucked me up… aren’t kids born in 2003 only supposed to be like 4 years old not going into 6th grade

fiftythreecrimes:

cubebreaker:

Thanks to the recent addition of their own 21x41ft pool, dogs at Lucky Puppy in Maybee, Michigan got to have their very own doggy pool party.

when I die this better be what heaven looks like tbh

dolphinsweater:

comicshans:

I googled ‘knockoff mcdonalds’ and was not disappointed

Michael Alone

phunderplonics:

They mad.